WHOSE BLUE RINSE?

I was having a chuckle to myself about my ‘Roses are red, violets are blue’ rip off yesterday: ‘Cometh the Hour’. Poor form I know, but I enjoyed it.

Then it occurred to me that given the here today gone tomorrow nature of political weirdness, it will make absolutely no sense to many people by the end of the week.

Of course it may well make no sense anyway, either because you aren’t a follower of twitter or you don’t follow the more arcane utterances of our leadership in the UK (and why should you?). If you missed whose hair product I was talking about – try this:

https://twitter.com/10downingstreet/status/1220086793434996736?lang=en

Mr Johnson’s revelation about his hair product choices prompted my excursion into doggerel, and I thank him for the inspiration, but I feel a tad guilty about it. After all he is not alone amongst politicians in offering hostages to satirical fortune. Ms Patel, our Home Secretary was proud to announce a dramatic fall in shoplifting figures recently. Quite why she believed this to be news given that 90% of shops are shut because of her Government’s orders has not been made clear. Of course she may have meant it to be taken literally as a good thing coming from the reaction to Covid-19. If so we can look forward to a future of online shopping and incarceration in our pod. Perhaps she saw the Matrix as a briefing paper?

Such is the brevity of political fame that it took me a moment to remember the name of the recently departed Chancellor of the Exchequer, Mr Javid, and I can’t for the life of me remember why he resigned. Still, Rishi Sunak seems like a better deal if you ask me. I’ve never seen him stand with his feet so far apart he had to have help getting his legs back together before he tried to walk after his photo op.

You have to feel sorry for Alexander Boris dePfeffel though. All these years practising his Churchill impression, and when the opportunity presents itself, it proves far more intractable than the Third Reich.

Not as sorry as I feel for Mrs May however. If ever there was a time for her brand of stoic blandness it is surely now? Missed her shot at greatness by months.

Not many politicians coming out of this with good grades.

Back to Statesman/woman 101 classes – by Skype of course (Zoom for those who want their work marked by Xi Jinping)?

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