0750hrs now (GMT+1) and in 4hours 40mins I’ll be clocking in for a heart stopping experience.
Cardioversion appointment is at 1230hrs and I hope the nurse practitioner who will be doing it and who talked me through it, was right when she said I should be out by 1630hours.
I’ll have had a mild general anaesthetic so you’ll be relieved to hear that you are unlikely to have a lot of waffle about it (or indeed anything else) for the rest of the day at least.
If I’m not allowed to drive or operate heavy machinery afterwards, I’m pretty sure common sense prevents operating a blog or posting anything in the public domain until what passes for full consciousness returns.
On the other hand this is only my first breach of my self imposed ‘not banging on about it’ rule and I have no doubt I will be breaking it again afterwards at some stage. It all feels very routine at the moment, which it is, as a process for those carrying it out. For me it is a first time having someone knock me out and stop my heart (despite the attempts of several prop forwards in the past).
It doesn’t make any difference in a spiritual sense or, I hope, in the physical sense beyond the momentary stilling and restarting of the thing. Emotionally I am not so sure. At the moment the logical bit of my brain seems in control. It feels like something trivial I need to do to set my old, normal, life back on track, slightly irritating in its interruption of my routine, like having to go and sign some papers in a bank or a solicitors. However, (sorry Mr Gove*) I also have the feeling that it could be used as a sort of psychological opportunity for a fresh start. I know that’s pretty silly because it’s a muscular thing controlled by electricity and has no bearing on what is commonly thought of as self identity these days. Pre-Enlightenment perhaps but not since science worked out what bits were responsible for what.
Hope to be back with more Westley Writers, perhaps the reboot of Pendragon and other semi random thoughts and stories soon.
*Michael Gove once instructed his civil servants not to start sentences with the word ‘however’.