TALK TO FRANK

I don’t normally stray into politics but it is hard to avoid at the moment.

Given that the odd couple of A B deP Johnson and M Gove would appear to be about to go head to head  in the Conservative Party Leadership election and it is looking like the former will have his revenge, I wondered how he might be feeling in a year’s time.

Those of you who are old enough to remember the Goverment ads to encourage people to finds out what mind altering substances did to their brains and bodies will remember the exhortation to Talk to Frank (the website still exists if you were wondering).

Anyway on to Alexander’s June 2020 waking nightmare:

 

TALK TO FRANK

 

Boris: Oh God, no way out! No way out! No way out!

Michael: Boris, wake up, wake up now. It’s okay.

Boris: Michael. Eh? What? You!?

Michael:    Yes Boris, wake up you’re having one of those Senate betrayal dreams again.

Boris: Yes, I was trapped Michael, there was no way out!

Michael: I know, I know, but it’s all right now.

Boris: Yes. Oh wow that was bad.

Michael : What was the matter Boris, was it the Capitoline Hill all over again?

Boris: No, no it was much worse. The economy had collapsed, Wiff Waff had failed and the Praetorians were coming for me Michael. It was Brexit Hallowe’en all over again.

Michael: There’s no need to swear Boris.

Boris: Sorry Michael.

Michael: It’s all right Bozza, just calm down.

Boris: Thanks Michael.

Michael: That’s okay.

Boris. It was horrible Michael. There were people taking me seriously.

Michael: Mm huh, Mm Huh.

Boris: They were asking me to make decisions and stand by the consequences, they were making fun of me Michael.

Michael: Been there Boris, been there.

Boris: The worst thing was Michael…

Michael: Yes Boris?

Boris: The worst thing was they were planning a coup, they were going to replace me, the 1922 boys, the Praetorians were going to ask you to take over. Can you imagine that?

Michael: Yes Boris.

Boris: Eh?

Michael: Yes I can imagine it Boris, I can imagine anything.

Boris: But, but you’d never come back. Sarah wouldn’t let you.

Michael: Not in the real world Boris.

Boris: What do you mean ‘the real world’?

Michael: Boris. Why am I here in your bedroom, Boris?

Boris: I…er

Michael: Exactly Boris, exactly, THIS is the dream.

Boris: Oh God no, it’s all true!

 

Voice Over: Being a dope can really mess with your head. Talk to Frank.

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